Trying, oh so hard;

Im hoping&praying so hard that my dad says yes to this weekend. I want so much to see Brendan, to actually hang out with him, it'll just make things so much better. Even before the Break, but especially since it, i cant help but think tha tim not doing enough to make him happy. Because we dont get to spend time together, i guess it does feel sometimes like our relationship is so much less then it could be. Like im not even a girlfriend, just some girl holding him back. Like he's just "single with restrictions". I know he doesnt really feel like that, but i feel like that. I just want us to be able to start spending time together, so we can be like a real couple again, and i can be sure that i really am making him happy and he wont want to go on Break again.. Dx