So So Excitedd :3

Ahhhh! :D Band banquet is exactly two weeks from tomorrow:3 And theres a little dance item thing after. I suppose its really cliche and teen-girlish to be so excited for that, but i am :D We can take people who arent in band, so of course Im going to take Brendan. I mean if he wants to go. He'd have to pay 25 dollars and maybe he wouldn't even want to go with me,. It IS on a friday night, and he's always at the mall on Fridays.. I think he would go with me if i asked him, but i dont know. Im not sure. What if he doesnt.? I wouldn't be too happy. :\ But i think he'll go. Its from 6:30 to 11:30, at the Marriot hotel. Should be funn:3 Ahh, im so excited. Im going to get a new dress! Oh how i do love dress shopping. I think when we go to buy the dress, i might try to talk my mom into letting Brendan come dress shopping with us next week, and then he'll come to the banquet on the 20th. Oh! And i have a band concert next week that im going to ask him to go to as well C: Mmmmm,(: Things are only going to get better from here, im confident :D

Contest Poetry;

Murder

With filmy eyes

And cold cold skin

So flaccid, ahh, I see

Rigidity has already set in

Lividity, lividity, cherry red spots!

It’s not cold outside

Maybe it was cyanide

Or maybe, maybe it was carbon monoxide

Love

Young loves cold fingers

Grasp the heart in an iron grip

The young mans careful not to fall

The young girl not to slip

Alas, their failed attempts

To avoid cupids arrows

And the laughs, smiles, happiness

Tears, pain and sorrow

Death and Innocence

Bright blue sky, cloudless and sunny

An innocent blue-eyed child runs behind a bush

Laughing and smiling; he looks to his left

And then to his right

His scream pierces the air

For he has found a naked young girl

Whose face is covered by her hair

His broken heart shines brazenly on his sleeve

The tears stream like waterfalls

The police come and take the body away

And that’s it for the sunny day

That’s all

Young Love; Soulmates

Two hands intertwined

Two sets of eyes locked

Two hearts stamped with “mine”

Now tis true that lovers quarrel

But love overcomes it all

And young hearts, once in love

Never truly separate

There is such things as meant to be,

Forever and soulmates

And young lovers whether they are that,

Or not, they always like to think they are

It almost always turns out sad

Love and Death in Life

So different yet so alike

You live, you love, you fight,

You laugh, you smile, you die

Why, oh why, are people so unnaccepting of death.?

For it is but apart of living

And most certainly a part of loving

They both exist in our hearts and minds

Along with trust, hatred, lust, and lies

People fall in love and sometimes love turnes to hate

People get married and sometimes they separate

People die but soemtimes they come back

To live again, and die again

This is the oh so monotonous cycle of our world

There is nothing out there for us but this

Love and lust, death and hatred, lies and trust

Thoughts of a sensitive nature;

Exactly eight days left until our seven month, Where did the time go.? These last seven months just flew by :0 And theyve been absolutely amazing. All the memories :3 Wrestling on his little cousins bed, hanging out with his family on Christmas, all the times at jenkins, i could go on forever. All the sweet memories that keep me going(: I love how chill everything is with him, how i dont have to worry about what im wearing, or my weight, or if im being annoying. I can act silly with him, have horrible bedhead and he doesnt mind, lounge around a house for an entire day with him and it feels like Heaven. I love how i can tell him anything in the world, how theres absolutely no boundaries between us. I love those really long talks we have sometimes, we tell eachother so much, we're so brutally honest. I love that more then i could ever put into words. :0 Seven months and our whole future ahead :D I love being with him, spending time with him., I have so much fun with him. I've never really had that with a guy before. Being able to relax and have fun. He's my best friend in the entire world. The only issue with having your boyfriend as your best friend, is that you have no one to turn to when you need to talk About your boyfriend :P But its okayy, because thats another thing i love about him. We dont fight very much, we used to get meh alot but ive been working on that. He's being kindof totally uncooperative with me working on the meh thing, because everytime i tell him not to be meh, or im trying to get back to good conversation he's having none of it. Its okay though, we'll get there. The Break seems to be the only problem in our relationship that glares out, but what does it matter.? Everybody does stupid things every once in a while. I find that everytime im doing something, i want to be doing it with him. Like everytime i go somewhere, i think about how happy i would be if he were there with me. Everytime i read a good book, i think about how much i want him to tell him all about it. Everytime i hear a really good new song, i want to ask him if he knows it, and if he doesnt then i want to show it to him. I want to include him in all areas of my life i guess, but i cant yet. I cant wait until i can though:3 Like this weekend when i go to the crawfish festival, im probably going to text him the entire time and tell him about everything that goes on, and how much i wish he was with me. So the project i talked about in my last post, is a pillowcase. Its black, and im sewing things on it in light blue, light pink and hwite. I messed up alot, but hey, im HANDSEWING it. Besides, at least that shows how many hours ive spent on it already, and how many more im going to have to spend on it. Its really really soft, some fabric called micro-knit jersey or some shiz. I think he'll like it. I hope so, i sure am putting alot of effort into it. I just figured i'd do something special for him. Another thing for him to look at and think of me :3 Im also thinking of doing a scarboook item, which wont be surprise for him. He'll know about it. Its going to take me forever though, because im going to take all the pichures over time, when were doing things and stuff. I think im going to take pichures until our one year, and then put it all in there with a bunch of our old pichures, even though he hates them, and then it will be a scarbook of our first year together :3 I think thats a great idea. :D Mmmm, i do love arts&&crafts, especially when its for him. I do love to make him smile.<3

Surprise surprise.?

Im about to start doing something very interesting for Brendan. I really hope he likes it :O Its something new, that ive never tried before. Something cute and kinda cheesy. Something i really dont want to mess up and im going to have to spend a ton of time on. I think its going to come out quite well(: Even though we arent celebrating our seven month, thats what its for i suppose. Im planning on giving it to him like a few days after our seven month, if i manage to see him :3 Hopefully i will.

Angry but Great.(:

So my "Stepfather" took it upon himself last night to take my phone, go through and read everything on it, get on the internet and check my email, and delete ALL of my saved messages from Brendan. Needless to say, i was pretty mad about it. Then he went on and on about how Brendan is just a roadblock in my life, he's holding me back from having/reaching goals, and that Brendan doesnt care about me at all. All of which is a total lie. Brendan supports me more then anyone in my life ever has, and he does care about me. We've been involved with eachother for over three years, we've had more then enough time and memories to develop some pretty deep feelings for each other. However, im still feeling pretty great despite this injustice. This weekend i was finally let out of the house and i was able to see Brendan two days in a row. Pretty WONDERUL(: And this weekend is going to be pretty freaking great too,((: I've got high hopes for the future, and im determined not to let my "Stepfather" dash them. So something nice happpened last night also. I watched an entire movie about a girl named Rachel and didnt even think about Her until afterwards. Looks like i really am totally over that little..speedbump.. in our relationship :D ilovehim<3

The best surprise xD

My "Stepfather" changed his mind and let me go to paidens house, and i got to see Brendan yesterday and today. It was wonderful. IT was so great actually hanging out with him(: and it was pretty fun being with paiden all weekend too. I tried some new stuff this weekend, and i liked that too. This was a really great weekend, i suppose things are starting to look up.(: