Fucking Tornado ;x

Thats exactly what my "Stepfather" is. A fucking tornado, constantly tearing my life to pieces. All he had to do was say yes, and everything would have been fucking perfect, but no. Of course not, no way would he EVER do something that would make me happy. I want to be all happy and bouncy and shit for Brendan, and not be meh when we're talking but its hard. Im so damn angry, and so depressed. Being locked up all the time, being miserable and alone all the time, it gets to a person. Its driving me fucking insane. I was looking forward to being ungrounded and getting to be with him and whatnot this weekend, this fucking dissappointment hit me hard. Almost everytime i take a breath im fighting back tears again. I cant be locked up like this anymore, i jsut cant do it. And my mom thinks that if i talk to my "Stepfather" then things will get better, but 1) i doubt it and 2) Even if they do i still have to get through being absolutely miserable for yet another weekend. Theres nothing i hate more than being alone, and thats all i EVER am anymore. Reading doesnt interest me, playing with melmel doesnt interest me, facebook doesnt interest me. Im sick and tired of being alone and depressed. I want my life back. I want to be happy again. I don't understand why thats such a crime in my his book, why its to important to him to keep me locked up and miserable. I made ONE mistake, that im never going to make again. They will never catch me again. They need to fucking get over it already, my entire life ive been a model child. I may mouth off every once in a while, or groan because of a chore i have to do, but ive always been a damn near perfect daughter, but the very First time i mes up, its off with my head. Do they really think that i haven't been adequately punished.? Thats ridiculous. I've been complying to this grounding, and trying to compromise with them for fucking WEEKS, im not doing it anymore. I'm going to talk to my "Stepfather" and if that doesnt work, then FUCK IT. Im tired of this shit, and im not going to do this anymore. He's trying to stomp out every bit of happiness in my life, and im tired of it. Just because he's going to die miserable and alone, doesnt mean i should too. HE deserves it >.>