Did you know..?

Did you know that everytime you spend the night at a girls house without me, no matter what girl, or who's there with you, i cry myself to sleep that night.? Do you know that everytime you choose your friends or the mall or something over me, i get so depressed i can barely talk.? Did you know that every morning i wake up and spend at least five minutes thinking how lucky i am to have you.? Did you know that i try to analyze everything i do and everything i say, so i dont make mistakes anymore.? Did you know that everytime your hanging out with everyone and making great memories with them, i cry because i feel like the more memories you make with them, the less we have together.? Did you know that everytime you talk about all your inside jokes and good times when im around, i feel so left out i just want to crawl under a rock and hide.? Did you know that i miss you, even when your with me, because it still feels like MY Brendan is lost somewhere inside you.? Did you know that everytime you do something without me, i feel a little bit farther apart from you.? Did you know, that i know most of this isnt your fault and i would never in a million years blame you for it, but it still kills me inside.? Did you know that i feel horribly pathetic and whiny because i feel these things.? Did you know that everytime i get jealous, i feel like teh worst girlfriend in teh world.? Did you know that everytime i ask you to come over or do something with me, i have to build up to it for hours because im so afraid so inconvenience you.? Did you know that majority of the time when i want to see you, i cant even bring myself to ask you, because im afriad youd rather be somehwere else, somewhere funner because i cant do hardly anything anymore.? Did you know that no matter how uncomfortable or sickened something makes me, i try to hold it all in because i dont want you to think im controlling you.? Did you know that i worry all the time about whether im too clingy.? Did you know i will do whatever it takes to make this relationship work.? I love you with all my heart, i know you know that.

Because im trying, maybe a little Too hard.

When i look back on it, its never THAT big of a deal, but when i set my hopes on something and i get letdown, it just affects me so much. Disappointment has the bitterest taste. Once the tears start falling, i cant stop them. Like two little waterfalls pouring down my face. I wish i could just settle for things, or hang out with my friends instead of him. I wish i wasnt so damn sensitive all the time. I cry over so many stupid pointless things that he probably never even gives a second thought too. Like choosing his friends over me. I mean it sounds bitchy, but he can see his friends ANY time. He hardly sees me at all. I dont know. Im just dumb.