Once again, everythings totally different than I thought it would be. Me and Brendan are like..talking and stuff, I guess working our way back to being together again. Who knows when we'll ever actually get there, boys gonna take his sweet time. I keep having these dreams about us dating and then I wake up and Im just like cause really.? Stop being creepy brooke.
Ehh. Forrest is telling me to be cautious and careful and now just dive into this with Brendan, he's so afraid I'm gonna get hurt again. I dont know, I trust Brendan not to hurt me again,. I dont think he will, lets see if he proves me wrong. O:<
I read my last post and laughed. It was easy to be done with Rachel but when will I ever be done with Brendan.? When I'm dead.? There's just something about that kid, it gets under my skin. I cant forget him, and I dont really want to. I love him D:
Sometimes I really dont know what to think about him though. he can be so mean and so judgemental and just make me feel like total shit, yet Id still rather be talking to him then any other person in the world. I guess thats love for ya. I just really wish he'd stop treating me like that. He says he does it so I wont get all up on him about dating and bs, but I wouldnt do that if he were nice. I wont do that at all, because Im too afraid to get rejected by him. Were doing this on his timeline, not mine. It wouldnt hurt him to treat me like he cares about me more then just every couple days, and to stop treating me like shit the rest of the time. I know he doesnt have to be that way, I mean as far as Im concerned, that isnt even the real Brendan. The real Brendan is the sweet, sensitive emotional one I fell in love with. The one with all the rascist jokes and the silly laugh, and who blushes, and actually cared about whats going on in my life. Thats the real Brendan, and maybe hes gone, but Ill still always remember him. Thats my brendanbearh.<3
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